“No One Told Me…!”: A Blogger’s Hilarious Take On Motherhood

Pregnancy has a flip side. No I am not just talking about the stretch marks, sagging breasts, postpartum blues and the innumerable changes your body goes through.


The barrage of advises that keep coming your way, from aunties to uncles to grannies and friends. Each and every familiar (and sometimes unfamiliar) face, comes up with a “friendly advice,” which leaves you confused, more than you might have been before. 


Blogger Gylisa Jane’s viral post on the unexpected turn a mother’s life takes, post the birth of her baby, has a universal appeal. Her tongue-in-cheek take on motherhood is bang on point. Especially so, for Indian mothers, who are surrounded by her well-wishers, from the very moment the stick changes color. 


For some the nightmare starts the day they hit puberty. But, we Indians surely don’t have a sense of privacy. Imagine some random Tau/Bua giving you tips to enhance probability of the birth of a baby boy! Or worse, speeding the process of conceiving. *Facepalm* What is that? 


It is things like these that annoys new moms and mums-to-be. I have seen my girlfriends, succumbing to this pressure. They end up confused and try out every possible thing, so that the apple of their eye, remains safe and happy. 


But there are so many things we don’t share with the mothers-to-be. Like postpartum depression is a reality and not just a hormonal imbalance. Or the fact that your body is going to change. Just because, you see photographs of actresses splashed in tabloids, flaunting their super toned bodies post pregnancy. The harsh reality behind Jessica Alba's envious post baby body is an eye-opener. We try to list some of the things that you must know, just in case no one tells you. 


Postpartum Depression 


It is perfectly alright to not feel connected to your new born baby. It is absolutely normal to feel fatigued, sad and low on energy. Childbirth leaves you overwhelmed and rightly so. It’s no joke to bring forth a new life, and care and nurture for it. It might leave you anxious about parenthood. You might also end up questioning yourself. The need to undergo this life altering chapter. But there’s nothing that cannot be solved. 


The first thing you must do is stop isolating yourself. Connect, chat and the most important of all, take help. A professional one, if the need arises. Don’t  slide these signs under the carpet. Get help when the baby blues hit you. 


Drop The Idea Of Getting Back Into Your College Jeans 


Newsflash: Your body has changed. 


The sooner you accept this, it will be better for your self-esteem. Don’t compare your present self with your past self. The gorgeous, Avatar star, Zoe Saldana’s Open letter to new mommies on accepting their post baby bodies is inspiring.

Not to be confused, with abandoning any form of physical exercise. The point is to celebrate your body, and take a healthy route to get fit. Remember we have access to digital photography and photoshop which can make anyone look like a porcelain doll. But porcelains break easily! 


You’re The Mum, Not The World 


People, including me, love to butt into other person’s business. It is how we are designed. But, apart from considering advises that you feel are relevant, you don’t have to oblige each and every soul surrounding you. Turn them down politely or go ballistic, else simply ignore them. You should be deciding whom to consult in case you’re unsure. Yes, it has to be you. 


Gylisa’s viral fb post is hilarious but to the point.

Photo Credit: Gylisa Jayne FB account 


Personal space goes for a toss, everything just changes, for good or for weird reasons. But, it changes for sure. I am not a mother yet. Someday when I become one, I would want to get into it with the knowledge that things are going to change and, I must work around it. May be by asking for help or going by my gut feeling or simply letting things be the way they are. But it won’t be a smooth ride. Expecting a roller coaster.