Love Also Needs Social Sanction: First Transgender Woman Gets Hitched In Bengal

Love needs no validation and moreover people in love really do not care of any social validation. They are just blissfully in love, unaware of the worldly happenings. We celebrate such love which doesn’t accept defeat in the face of adversities. 


I have been to my fair share of weddings in the past few months. One thing which has intrigued me is the pomp with which weddings are carried out. Let me start out by making it crystal clear; personally not a big fan of the Big-Fat Indian weddings but that doesn’t mean this post is intended to shame the ones who believe in luxurious weddings. Not questioning the fortune spent on an extravagant wedding. My only question is when did an alliance between two adults in the solemn presence of their family members, become a thing of social spectacle? A person like me after a point starts questioning the need to pour money in such social gatherings. 


Marriage is after all social sanction for coupling of heterosexual beings. It seems a bit harsh, but what is the real purpose of marriage to begin with. A validation to procreate and begin a family unit in the most basic civic sense. 


But for many the rituals and social validation acts as a sense of fulfillment. Think of the transgender woman who got hitched to her childhood sweetheart. How much importance this social sanction holds for her? First transgender woman gets married in West Bengal and that too with all rituals and ceremonies in place. So, what is this concept of social validation? 


Shree, 30, is a Kolkata-based theatre personality and a trans-woman who has frequently spoken about the rights of the transgender community in Kolkata. Shree’s partner, Sanjay Muhuri, is a marketing consultant with a multinational corporation in Kolkata. The two had first met as a pair of fourteen-year-olds and as time passed, Shree fell in love with her friend. Well that sounds pretty normal love-struck teenager’s state of mind. Now throw in the fact that this 14 year old was a boy who was attracted to another boy and though felt like a woman. Imagine the turmoil, this kid must have gone through, when we start boxing kids on the basis of their gender. 


Shree had to go through the shaming, ridicule and insults while growing up. Although, her mother has been the much needed rock solid support and supported in Shree’s life decisions. In 2015, Shree underwent sex reassignment surgery (SRS) and apparently it was easier for her in-laws to accept her afterwards. 


It took almost an year for her to obtain all the legal documentation pertaining to her changed gender. Once it was done, Shree decided to marry with all the ceremonies and rituals in place. No low-key private affair was this wedding. She maintains what’s the need to marry in a hush-hush manner. Supreme Court in 2014 had recognised transgender as third gender. So why the secrecy? 


This wedding is a way forward to a more accepting and tolerant society, which doesn’t segregate people on the basis of their choices. Shree’s wedding is a story of triumph; triumph of love over odds. What better way to celebrate than get together with the family, friends, well-wishers. A pompous wedding is very much needed here. To scream it out to the world that I am very much part of this society and you can’t ignore me.

Way to go Shree :)