Life Lessons Learnt From These Amazing Actresses Over the Years

It is said that three kinds of people come into our lives. The first, who enter our lives for a specific reason, and when the reason is fulfilled, the person disappears as suddenly as he/she entered our lives.

The second, is a person who enters into your life for seasons. This person is destined to be with you till you ride over a certain phase in your life and as soon as the mission is accomplished, the person will for some inexplicable reason, exit your life as well.

The third comprises usually the family and spouse, who are a part of your karmic cycle and who are destined to be a part of your life.

And finally, there is the fourth and this is granted by the universe. They arrive into your life any time and include people from any where. They have no goals and what you absorb from them is dependent on what you are seeking at that time.

I feel all the beautiful actresses I’ve interviewed over the decades fall into the fourth category for me. I feel I was destined to meet them, interact with them so that I could observe and absorb from their experiences, not that I understood it then but I view it more philosophically now and as I look back a collage of sepia images conjure.

Nargis

It was in the winter of 1978 I think when Nargis Dutt was still robust and eating bhel puri outside her preview theatre, Ajanta Arts, in Pali Hill, before all of us entered into the screening (then referred to as a trial show) of a film.

It was an unusually boring film and young as I was, I was restless to quit the screening during interval. Nargis over heard me discuss my exasperation with a colleague and pulled me aside to gently explain that no matter how boring any film is, it is insulting to walk out of the film halfway and no filmmaker deserves that.

I have remembered that and part the same wisdom to my juniors when I find them impatient in a screening.

Nutan

Nutan, in my opinion, was among the first actors to speak up against the media who arrived for an interview without adequate homework on the subject. She said it was arrogant of editors to send novice reporters who wasted precious time of busy artistes on the sets because it disturbed their concentration. She was particularly intolerant of those who lacked shooting etiquette and whispered in the middle of a ‘take’, destroying the mood and the moment. I remembered that and when I became an editor, I personally coached my team before sending them on field to a film studio.

Vyjayanthimala

Vyjayanthimala had moved to Delhi by the time I became a journalist but I met her when her son, Suchindra Bali was making foray into films. She had purchased a plush flat and did everything within her means to support her struggling son but refused to call her colleagues for help. “I may have been a superstar in my time but my son has to find his own path via is his destiny and his talent. In show business, no matter how powerful, nobody can help anybody”. She was right and fortunately Suchindra understood that.

Lalita Pawar

Once, I was walking down the Film City makeup room corridor and veteran actor Lalita Pawar mistaking me for an actress invited me to her cubicle to complain about a journalist who was visibly distracted throughout the interview. “He was clearly not interested in the questions he was raising and more so in the answers I was giving in which case why go through this farce?” I heard her in silence and when I was leaving I told her I was not an actor but a writer and I understood what she felt. She smiled for the first time. Lalita Pawar taught me to value my seniors and to listen without interruption.

Helen

Helen was a part of all multi-starrer films shot at that time and was omnipresent at all the shootings.

Wherever, whenever you bumped into her and no matter how uncomfortable her costume or her wig, her feathers or her contact lenses, she always greeted you with a smile and even if she refused you an interview, Helen did it with a twinkle in her eye.

Waheeda Rehman

I met Waheeda Rehman when she returned in Om Jai Jagdish after a long sabbatical. Waheeda Rehman taught me that there is more to life than stardom, a self-made woman with varied interests (horticulture/ photography/ drawing/traveling/ cooking/ theatre besides acting), Waheeda Rehman is amongst the few who wears her age gracefully. Today, seventy plus Waheeda Rehman is always in the mood for adventure and has a knack of rising above any crisis with faith and wisdom.

Asha Parekh

Asha Parekh displayed by example that if change is inevitable, then one must change with time. When the best roles stopped coming her way as a leading lady, she experimented as a film distributor, then as a producer, she was untrained but she accepted responsibilities as censor chief, as television director and her explorations were diverse as dance to hospitals. Every time she gave it her best shot and it didn’t matter that more often than not she lost more than she gained.

Sharmila Tagore

Sharmila Tagore juggled her domestic responsibilities with her commitment as an actor post marriage and children. She said it is tough to strike a perfect balance for an actor between home and studio but if one remains focused and has support from family, it can be done and every actress must strive for it because if one doesn’t there’s bound to be vacuum and with time nobody can help you fill that void. Tagore balanced her career and motherhood exceptionally and continues to do so after all these years.

Hema Malini

Hema Malini believes life throws opportunities and fortunate is the one who recognizes them.

She says her mother instilled in her fearlessness which is why she started as a dancer and went on to accomplish so much more in her life and career. Hema adds that everything does not have to be explained to everybody as long as you know the truth.

She says art is important for existence and life without art, in her case dance, can never be an enriching life.

Rekha

My grooming tips predictably came from the diva herself - Rekha. She led me to say goodbye to sugar to remain slim forever, goodbye to pillows to retain a neck without wrinkles. She advised that gallons of water, little exercise, adequate sleep, five almonds and a fruit a day will give me healthy skin and hair. I have followed her tips and the results are showing.

Jaya Bachchan

Jaya Bhaduri was already Bachchan by the time I became a journalist and those were the days when Amitabh was not talking to the media. During his peak war with the press, I used to bump into Jaya at the oddest venues - a musical concert, airport, Prithvi Theatre, hospital and she always remained her own person. She was candid and chatted naturally on cinema and other current topics without caring for the stigma attached to the media in her husband’s life at that time. I learnt from Jaya that terms of endearment are not as rigid as we perceive.

Shabana Azmi

And finally Shabana Azmi, who remains the strongest source of influence in my career. I have imbibed precious lessons just being around her and observing her. Her reactions to films, theatre, acting, poetry have been inspiring. I have sought her wisdom in conflict and she has never let me down. Her contribution in my growth as a journalist and an individual is invaluable.

I cannot end this feature without mentioning some of the younger actresses. It is not as if the younger stars have not inspired me, all of them have amazing qualities. Aishwarya Rai like Sharmila Tagore has balanced marriage and career and Kareena Kapoor has redefined stardom, just as Priyanka Chopra has followed her heart and set rules.

Anushka Sharma is driven by quality but no matter what the pressures, she will not compromise on her values. Deepika is overly sensitive therefore grossly misunderstood but has her heart in the right place, so does Vidya Balan, at times vulnerable, at times desolate but always stands for her convictions.

The list is endless but perhaps another day, in another feature because there is no expiry date on observations!

(Bhawana Somaaya has been writing on cinema for 30 years and is the author of 12 books. Her Twitter handle is @bhawanasomaaya)