Making a Difference - Arpan

April was the month to create awareness about child sexual abuse. Why only April, Pooja Taparia – Founder and Chief Executive at Arpan, has been creating awareness about this pervasive issue for over the last 8 years. She has been doing her best with the team at Arpan to make a difference by supporting and conducting various programmes in school to make both children and parents aware about this heinous social evil. In conversation, Pooja tells us about how her campaign against child sexual abuse have made a difference:

What are some of the programmes Arpan sets up to create awareness amongst children in schools and for their parents?

Arpan has a number of strategies aimed at creating awareness and promote skill building to battle the issue of Child Sexual Abuse. However, our most essential project remains the Personal Safety Education Programme. This is a programme conducted with, and aimed towards, children in schools, communities and institutions and all the stakeholders involved in their care taking. The PSE programme functions through a workshop mode and is aimed to impart skills and information to prevent the risk of sexual abuse. The PSE project also inculcates skills for seeking help and reporting cases of attempted and/or continued sexual abuse to trusted adults. Children who report cases of attempted and continued sexual abuse are provided with psychotherapeutic support to facilitate their healing process.

The PSE project also involves awareness building and skill enhancement of adults like parents, teachers and institutional caretakers who are the primary stakeholders and caregivers in a child’s life. These stakeholders are empowered with adequate information and skills with regard to child sexual abuse so that they can create strong safety and support networks around children in their respective environments. While children and their primary stakeholders are empowered, Arpan also constantly advocates with the school and NGO management to make systemic level changes within their current infrastructure, programmes, systems, policies etc. in order to sustain the social impact of PSE.

Apart from conducting the PSE module, Arpan also advocates for the institutionalization of the PSE curriculum within the existing school system and motivates the senior management of the school to develop and/or strengthen the existing child protection policies and systems within their environment.

How long have you worked in this area? How has the Indian populace changed its outlook to this issue ever since you have begun work in this area?

We have been working in this field for eight years. What we found is that, earlier people used to be a lot more in denial about the issue itself. Over the last few years we have seen a significant shift in the acknowledgement and the awareness of the issue. When we do awareness sessions with adults, we find the interactions more conversational and dynamic. People are starting to recognize this issue as something that needsto be addressed. Moreover, we now have a law, the Protection of Children against Sexual Offences Act, specifically to target the issue of child sexual abuse. This shows that the Indian populace is now gearing up for a more action oriented approach on the issue. 

Why in your opinion has the country generally shirked from talking about child sexual abuse?

India’s social system is still an inherently patriarchal one. And we need to understand that sexual abuse of children takes place within this patriarchal context. Women and children are seen as mere extensions of their male kin. Children’s voices are often silenced to privilege those of the adults in the family. There is also a general taboo around the issues of sex and sexuality. A lot of people don’t talk about sexual abuse because they don’t have the vocabulary to express themselves. Additionally, there is a very strong need to protect the honor (izzat/laaj) of the family and/or the community. Once someone is sexually violated, they are immediately seen as tainted. For sexually abused girl children, the fear is that, with the loss of their virginity, and consequently their honor, they will never be able to live a happy life, and most importantly, get suitable marriage prospects. With male survivors, the concern is with them being stigmatized for not being “macho” enough to protect themselves. 

It is difficult for survivors themselves to break the silence on the issue because of the strong culture of blaming the victim. Victim blaming is a dangerous thing because it puts the onus of violence squarely on the survivor rather than placing the accountability with the perpetrator or with the society that condones such actions. Victim blaming can be particularly destructive for survivors of sexual violence as it pushes them further into silence and adds guilt and confusion to the number of other emotions that they undergo because of the abuse.

How pervasive is this issue? What are the kinds of children who are affected by abuse?

Several organizations and institutions have conducted small scale researches to contribute to the limited body of work on prevalence of Child Sexual Abuse in India. Some of these organizations are Tulir in Chennai, Samvada in Bangalore, Raahi in New Delhi, Sakshi in New Delhi and Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Mumbai. A significant study done at a pan Indian level is the National Study on Child Abuse (2007). This study, which is the largest of its kind, covered 13 states with a sample size of 12447 children, 2324 young adults and 2449 stakeholders. The National Study reported the following:

o    53.18 % children in the family environment not going to school reported facing sexual abuse

o    49.92% children in schools reported facing sexual abuse

o    61.61% children at work (Shop, factory or other places) reported facing sexual abuse

o    54.51% children on the streets reported facing sexual abuse

o    47.08 % children in institutional care reported facing sexual abuse

o    20.90% of all children were subjected to severe forms of sexual abuse that included sexual assault, making the child fondle private parts, making the child exhibit private body parts and being photographed in the nude

o    50% abusers are persons known to the child or in a position of trust and responsibility

As we can see from these findings, not only is the prevalence of the issue very high, but also there are no particular “kinds” of children that are affected by abuse. All children are equally vulnerable to sexual abuse. In all the year of Arpan’s work, we have received cases across classes, communities and genders. However, the way in which they are vulnerable may be different based on their socio cultural context.

In your opinion does the abused turn abuser? What can we do to prevent this?

We try not to make a direct, causal link between survivors of child abuse turning into abusers. However, it is possible a survivor might want to regain a sense of control by abusing other children. This could be a way to cope with the sense of the powerlessness and helplessness that they felt at the time of their abuse. In such cases, it is essential to create a non-judgmental, empathetic space for the survivor to understand and reflect upon their actions. This is best possible through sustained and consistent therapeutic intervention by skilled professionals. Additionally, in our PSE lessons, we emphasize strongly on respecting people’s boundaries and empathizing with others.

What are some of the signs to pay attention to, to know your child is going through sexual abuse?

With the exception of pregnancy in the case of girls who have attained puberty, there is no certain indicator of a child being sexually abused, unless expressly stated by the child. However, there are certain visible detectors that may point towards a child being sexually abuse (or other forms of abuse). Physical indicators may include pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, bleeding or unusual smells from genitals due to infections, repeated urinary infections, pain during bowel movement, involuntary gagging and psychosomatic illnesses including gastro-intestinal problems and frequent headaches.

Psychological indicators include phobias of people or places, nightmares, eating and sleeping disturbances, anxiety, hyper vigilance, indifference, clingy behavior, frequent day dreaming and dissociation, lack of trust in self and others, regressive behaviors such as thumb sucking and bed wetting. There are certain social behaviors that can be considered indicators as well, such as, sudden withdrawal, overly pleasing behavior, increased hostility, aggression and drastic change in academic performance.

Lastly, children who have been/are being sexually abused, tend to show a drastic/visible change in sexual conduct and mannerisms. Some of these may include overdressing, underdressing, sexual anxiety and repetitive sexual behavior such as excessive masturbation, continuous sexual play or use of sexually abusive language.

Boys being as susceptible to abuse as girls are, what can we do to prevent our children from being abuse?

As stated before, Child Sexual Abuse exists in a patriarchal context. The reason why most people believe that boys don’t get sexually abused is because sexual abuse of boys tends to be under recognized, under-reported and under-treated. Boys are made to live up the myth of the “masculine ideal” of someone who is always in control and is never a victim. They are almost entirely excluded from any conversation about sexual safety and appropriateness.

Thus, we can see that patriarchy, as a system, operates in many different ways as a part of our everyday lives. For this reason, there is no one, quick way to eradicate patriarchy (and, by extension, child sexual abuse). The most powerful way of challenging something as predominant and prevalent as child sexual abuse is through conversations, awareness raising and skill building.

That is why prevention programmes, like the Personal Safety Education Programme, are important. However, these programmes cannot just be a “life skills” module, but need to be an on-going conversation about values, attitudes and rights of children. In implementing such programmes with children, or in working with children at an individual level, we need to focus on building a healthy self-esteem for children by making them recognize their uniqueness and individuality. They need to be taught how to recognize and name the emotions that they feel and use their knowledge of these feelings to identify safe and unsafe situations.Additionally, it is important to inform them of their right to be safe and protected from abuse.

For a more holistic approach to prevention, it is important to engage with adults who are directly or indirectly responsible for the safety of children. At Arpan, we hold awareness sessions and training programmes with different stakeholders like parents, teachers, police personnel, care takers in institutions etc. This helps them be more active participants in the prevention of child sexual abuse. The channels of communications between children and their guardians need to be clear and open so that children can identify their trusted adults and reach out to them for help, can ask their trusted adults for sexuality related information in a non-threatening environment, can be empowered with important vocabulary by being taught the names of their private body parts or guidelines to keep themselves safe from sexual abuse. Finally, children need to be taught how to be assertive so they can appropriately communicate about any touch that makes them feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

What advice would you like to give to parents out there, anxious to protect their children from abuse and keep them safe?

Communicating with children about their personal safety is a critical step in ensuring that they are safe and equipped to identify and respond to unsafe situations. It is natural for parents to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable because of the way the society addresses these issues and the environment in which they have grown up. It is important to have free and open channels of communication with children so they trust you with all kinds of information. Children should also have faith that they will not be ignored or dismissed if they confide in their parents. Parents should avoid further perpetuating the shame surrounding private body parts of children and teach children the names of these body parts from an early age. Besides this, it is important to be mindful of any indicators of abuse that the child may show along with being vigilant and aware of the other adults in the child’s like. When we start respecting and validating our children, they will start respecting themselves, their emotions and their boundaries.