I Enjoy Sex. Oh! Does That Make You Uncomfortable?
I enjoy sex. What happened? Does that make you uncomfortable? Or, maybe you think of me as a promiscuous woman? Or maybe not?
I like to believe otherwise. The reason I can write this post, is because we have come of age. Talking openly about sex, porn, racy lingerie, sex toys, even sexual inadequacies. The act of starting a conversation around these topics, was deemed unacceptable earlier. The very fact that we have opened about ‘behind-closed-doors’ topic like sex, is a welcome change.
So, what’s the ruckus around ‘Lipstick Under My Burkha’
The Central Board Of Film Certification, CBFC, has clearly displayed its constricted vision of a “lady-oriented” film whose characters’ “fantasy above life.” What the hell does even that mean?
But hey, we can’t blame the chief, Pahlaj Nihalani here. Playing the item songs card, also reeks of elitism. We enjoy item songs, I enjoy listening to it. Let’s not climb up on the high horse and say that, actresses dancing to the tunes are not “real women” or women of substance. By taking that stand, we are party to the slugfest women are subjected to, due to their choices.
The problem is not the item songs but the way women are portrayed in these songs. Demeaning lyrics which basically objectify each and every part of a woman’s body. To entertain the male gaze.
You betcha!
The cameraman knows in which strategic areas, the camera should be zoomed in . And boy the expressions!
So much for substantial lyrics!
As I said earlier, we are not shaming the actresses here, the concept is being questioned. It is not about sexualising but portraying women as merely an object of a man’s sexual fantasy, speaks volumes about us.
The film has to its credit powerhouse actresses like, theatre veteran Ratna Pathak Shah, the brilliant Konkana Sen along with two newcomers, Plabita Borthakur and Aahana Kumra.
It journeys the sexual life of four women from different ages. It chronicles their struggle to enjoy that little part called “freedom.”
The CBFC statement released in support of the movie’s ban reads like this; “The story is lady oriented, their fantasy above life. There are contanious sexual scenes, abusive words, audio pornography and a bit sensitive touch about one particular section of society, hence film refused under guidelines (sic).”
Seriously what?!
Pay heed to this; The film has won the Oxfam Award for the Best Film on Gender Equality at the Mumbai Film Festival and the Spirit of Asia prize at the Tokyo International Film Festival.
I rest my case!
What scares us? The fact that women might end up professing their sexual identity and become more aware of their bodies and, end up taking decisions for themselves? Why does a woman with strong sexual desires make us uncomfortable. This question is not only directed toward men, but women too.
Why do we end up sizing down a fellow woman just because she is aware and not afraid of her sexual choices. A woman’s fantasy whether above life or not, shouldn’t be of any one’s concern. Just how gyrating to the techno music and grooving to the likes of lyrics such as; “Main toh tandoori murgi hoon yaar, gatka le mujhe alcohol se,” or “Ladki beautiful, kar gayi chull,” or “Kundi mat khadkao raja, seedha andar aao raja,” and many other pearls of poetry.
Repeat after me, “It is completely alright for women to be sexually active. I will not slut-shame them or objectify them based on their choices. I am going to mind my own business.”
