Fighting Against The Stars

She flies in the abundance of air like a fairy in my dreams. I drown in the water below and hide myself deep. The typical Libran woman wafting in the Libran element of Air and an atypical Piscean man like me, submerged in the zodiac element of Water. A disastrous marriage predicted in the horoscope, as per our kundalis and the Western-styled zodiac compatibility. In reality, it turned out to be a successful and at times an out-of-the box companionship, our weird partnership spanning different dimensions. Including my wife falling in and out of love with other men and sharing her stories with me, to me getting bogged down with work pressure and she helping me out of depression at times, our marriage stood the test of time despite failing the zodiac test.

I don’t mind saying I thoroughly enjoy an eccentric Libran woman who has always struck me with a difference, an attitude that at times made me angry, at times made me laugh, cry and rediscover myself. Even a mismatched zodiac could not deter us from completing a 16-year-old odd partnership and from getting married in the first place.

As my wife confidently said 16 years ago, only God can take me away from you or you from me, when she heard that the kundalis that my family matched before marriage were far from being compatible. They were a complete mismatch and some predicted we will fight all our lives over small issues and never find peace. My wife didn’t even know we were matching it. Her family didn’t believe in astrology. Hence, I hid the fact that my family tried matching them! In my family, I was the first among siblings and cousins who had a love marriage. So, making them understand that I would marry a woman I chose despite everything was a bit tough. And yes, both of us believed that in love and death, no compatibility stands, no prediction works.

Where there is love and where there is will to carry on, no force can ever tear a relationship apart. That is what she said and urged the less confident me to just enjoy the companionship in abundant confidence.

Coming from a traditional Bengali family, I observed for years during the marriages of my elder siblings and cousins and relatives, that zodiac and horoscope matching was a must. And I knew in real life we are undoubtedly like fire and ice, with completely contradictory needs. Often out of curiosity I would sit with a Linda Goodman book, and read up the traits of a Libran woman. In this aspect, I found the book so very apt that I was surprised. Her the more confident and creative partner, me the confused one, who gets confidence from her. But what doesn’t match is the compatibility part. In marriage compatibility, Goodman says that a Libran woman finds happiness with all signs other than Pisces!

I do have fights with her; in the beginning they were pretty bad ones, but then again, after a point we realised love is the one thing that can win over everything. If you really love someone and are honest to that love, not even the zodiac can lead you to divorce or separation. In a way I enjoyed the zodiac negativity, a sort of challenge, just like I enjoyed our contradictions and her eccentric fervours.

There were days when I’d speak on practical issues like buying an apartment or how much has been saved where including bank details, and she’d look at me and start singing film songs. When I wished to watch a movie, she dragged me to the garden to show me her new-born saplings.

But I realised over the years, that despite the usual perception, lack of similarities between two human beings actually helps a relationship to flower into an innovative one. It’s almost like writing a book on a new genre, making the whole journey less mundane and more fun. For those who are compatible and similar, life would turn so boring with affirmations and confirmations. Quarrels and challenges are fun too, making up in bed at times, exchanging ideas, learning new ones. Yes, our relationship is utterly imperfect. Our romantic sensuality doesn’t shine like a rainbow but rages like a tropical storm promising to blow away even the zodiac signs and their preferred choices.