Ever Heard Of Narcissistic Abuse?

“We hurt only the ones we love”, isn’t that how the saying goes? Hurt and love can never go hand in hand, and it takes an immense amount of strength to realize this, at times only in retrospect.

With more and more women gaining courage to share their stories of the abusive relationships they have been in, the awareness around abuse and its forms has definitely been on the rise. Since there can’t be enough of awareness about abusive relationships, and it’s various forms, this post is an attempt to talk about abuse and what it entails.

What is abuse? Abuse is not just physical, not just emotional, or psychological. It is all of this and has many more aspects to it. A lot about our conditioning determines whether or not we are able to even recognize certain other forms of abuse.  Narcissistic abuse is one such form of abuse. It takes a lot of damage to actually understand what’s happening because you are constantly made to feel like you are at fault.

This post is a culmination of some reading done on the subject of narcissistic abuse, and what seems to be the most relatable thoughts on social media by narcissistic abuse survivors.

Do these feelings/thoughts/words feel familiar? Or, what is your response to these sentences?
 

• To project on to you all their flaws - “Projection is a common tactic narcissists use. If you ever bring up something you want to discuss with them, like something they’ve done wrong, they will immediately turn it back around on you and say you’ve been doing it instead so they don’t take responsibility for what they have done. And it works because then you stop questioning them about what they’ve done, and instead start trying to convince them you haven’t been doing what they say you have.” On Narcissistic Behaviour and Emotional Abuse
   
• When you finally take a stand - “As long as I didn’t expose what the narcissist was really doing, the narcissist kept aggressively coming back. They see this as you being loyal regardless of what they do to you. Things change when you take a stand, stop taking blame for their lies and stop being silent. Now, they don’t know what you are capable of so they don’t risk it.” On Narcissistic Behaviour and Emotional Abuse  
   
• “Ghosting”, or disappearing when there is nothing more to be gained - “A favorite tactic of narcissists is to disappear from a relationship or friendship without any notice or warning. This method of terminating a relationship is their ultimate form of power and control. They have decided to cease all communication, not unlike a small child putting their fingers to their ears in an act of defiance, refusing to listen and refusing to talk. The level of emotional maturity is the same.” [-Anne McCrea]

While the above lines sum up some things about what narcissistic abuse entails, these are a set of survival techniques, which any narcissistic abuse survivor would swear by. Pass it on to someone you feel would benefit from it, even if you may not need it!
 

• To listen to your intuition more often.
   
• Saying no when you want to say no.
   
• Taking responsibility of yourself, and not for other peoples’ problems.
   
• To read less about abuse, and more about boundaries.
   
• To seek validation from yourself, more than from those around you.
   
• To know that you need to put yourself first – and there is nothing wrong with that.
   
• If it doesn’t feed your soul, Iet it go.
   
• To resist from giving people the benefit of doubt when their character is unclear or not known to you.
   
• To rid yourself of all self-limiting beliefs.
   
• To implement/ maintain no or minimal contact with narcissistic people.

What is your story of survival? Want a platform to share it with the SHEROES out there? Shout out to us!