Dear 18-Yr-Old Me: Don’t Settle For People Who Treat You Like Crap

Dear 18-year-old Vaishali,

First of all, I want to congratulate you for attaining the official Indian age of majority at 18. This also means that you are no more a teenage girl! But, most importantly I want to tell you that you have been a brave girl for surviving so much.

You have already lived some of the most beautiful moments of your life – those carefree ones. I would love to see that hassle-free you once again. But, my dear 18-year-old-self, you have seen some tough times too. Life has put you on the spot lots of times. Bad grades, fights with your parents, those ugly breakups, and a few halts that gave you a jolt.

You, the courageous you, survived the odds.

At 18, life happens in a blink of an eye. We make decisions in haste. We regret, only much later. But, at your age, everything seems so beautiful.

That’s the darker side of being an 18-year-old. Not everything is so sweet!

I wish I could go back and hug you for all the times that you felt hopeless about yourself. But know, that at the end, it all turns out fine.

I want you to know that life isn’t about making commitments to situations and people who you think don’t deserve it. Don’t settle for friends who treat you like crap. Don’t settle for the man who cares very little about your emotions. Most importantly, don’t fall for people who don’t respect you. Don’t settle for a job that isn’t fulfilling. Please, don’t worship god because people think it’s the only way to calm yourself. Just be yourself.

Your year at university will break your heart a zillion times. That same year, you will either find your true purpose and figure out who you’re meant to be or you will fail. That year will be tough on you. Once you're out of it, don’t settle for a regular life or a regular relationship. Look for things that give you genuine happiness.

Right now, at the sweet age of 18, you are so incredibly excited to start a new life. But life might look like hell at times. Believe it or not, you are going to miss your parents and the carefree adolescent life. You are going to get sick and have no one to take care of you. You’re going to miss the home cooked food and your mother’s scent, your father’s affections and your siblings’ nagging.

At 18, you will learn to let go, forgive, help, love, hate, adore and loathe. You might also learn that success doesn’t come easy and that you have to work for what you want.

But, as you grow old, don’t dare let your failures get you down. Just think of them as a way of learning a hard lesson.

I am sure of one thing though: that the courageous you will survive the odds.

Love,
Your 33-year-old self
Vaishali Sudan Sharma