Can We Stop Shaming Working Females For Being Less Of A Woman?

Mira Rajput created ripples by putting out her thoughts on the new wave of feminism which she believes is aggressive and basically female form of “chauvinism.” Well, Mira Rajput is better known as Shahid Kapoor’s wife and now mother to a beautiful baby girl, named Misha.

Her comments on the occasion of International Women’s Day are particularly discomforting and foolish. Something we don’t expect from a well-educated girl hailing from an influential family. Of course you expect some awareness in such “educated” women. Sadly, the incident again consolidates why we do need feminism.

Let me begin by saying, feminism is not an epidemic to be scared of. It is beneficial for you, me and all of us. We are skeptical of using it on the face of it, due to some of the most bizarre reasons.

Some of the godforsaken reasons given are:-

“The truth is so obvious, why should we label it.”

“Feminism puts off people.” and the one which cracks me up

“I believe in equality, not feminism,” wait what?!

We have got suggestions like humanism and equalist to be used instead of the word feminism. Well you know, go ahead and use them. After all it is not about the word, but the idea behind it.

Defending feminism is not the purpose of this post, but addressing some of the statements by Mrs. Kapoor which is simply put problematic. Like the one below:-

“Empowerment means you have the right to choose. So it’s my choice if I want to be at home. And it’s someone else’s choice if they want to be a working mother. But both are equally valid and neither of them should be shamed. Feminism isn’t woman VS man. It’s about equality. A new wave of feminism has come that is aggressive... I feel it’s destructive. There’s a new term called ‘feminazi’, which is the female equivalent of a chauvinist. I think there should be harmony between the two sexes and an equilibrium.”
 

Anyone with half the awareness about feminism as a movement knows that like any other movement feminism too has evolved, as mentioned in the beginning of the post. The concept is a dynamic one wherein people are learning to accept it in their daily lives. Years of subjugation and a subservient status accorded to women has damaged the equilibrium to a huge scary extent. So much so, that consent seems like an alien concept to practice in our lives in the year of 2017. Why? We are talking of entering into the AI (Artificial Intelligence) age and still not able to fathom women can access same opportunities and treatment as bestowed upon their male counterparts. The fact we are still talking about gender pay-gap and sexual harassment at workplaces, and not able to make our surroundings safe for women.

“Feminism is not about woman Vs man” Bingo! That is what we are trying to say, you cracked it Mira Rajput. Ironically she talks about choice and in the same breath puts down the reason which has been able to provide her with that freedom of choice. Earlier, it was set in stone, for women to become homemakers, no  matter what. But at least the positive outcome of “feminism” is the freedom of choice given either to be a career woman or a homemaker. Which takes me to my next bone of contention.

“I love being at home, I love being a mother to my child. I wouldn’t want it to be any other way. I don’t want to spend one hour in the day with my child and then rush off to work. Why did I have her then? She’s not a puppy? I want to be there for her as a mother. Seeing her grow up can’t be quantified.

The above statement by Mira Rajput is actually a reflection of what we think about working women.

How many times, have I seen aunties shaming working women for not being able to cook fresh dinner for their husband and kids. Or, unable to take out time for “family functions.” Or, being an unfit mother as a working woman devotes her time being selfish, looking after her professional commitments. These are just some of the instances which I have come across and I am sure (not proud of it though) there are many more such examples.

Can we please stop shaming working women?

And this must begin with women, who have to stop shaming working women for being bad cooks, inefficient kitchen managers or house cleaners. Yeah, the food is not tasty, the drawing room is messy so does that make me less of a woman.

I would also recount an incident here; I am fiercely ambitious and an excellent cook/home manager. Amazed are you? Why can’t I be both?



When my friends tasted my lunchbox in the office for the very first time they exclaimed, “You know how to cook?” For them it was unbelievable, how can a career-oriented woman, have any interest in culinary. Well I do and find people’s surprising reactions, a bit annoying.

Did you notice, how the stereotype works both ways and in vice-versa manner. Homemaker or not, you don’t have to prove your worth. Similarly, if you are an ambitious lady, you don’t have to prove your house management skills. And this is where ladies, gentlemen and Mira Rajput Kapoor we need feminism.

Lastly, working women don’t rush off to work, leaving back their children like puppies. They do so, because certain circumstances demands them to leave behind their babies for work. Putting out such statements, especially when you are speaking on an International Women’s Day is depressing to say the least. Not everyone is blessed with a super comfortable and luxurious life like yours. If they go out and work, please understand they have their reasons. Nobody wants to part ways from their newborns (or puppies) as you said!

Women are blessed with the biology to bear children, but that doesn’t seal the deal for them. It doesn’t imply lifelong imprisonment and saying goodbye to a thriving life. It’s time we undo the wrongdoings of the past and let women breathe free air.