Are You Raising Your Girl To Be A Leader?
When one meets a young child, the first reactions are usually something like this?
For a girl: Oh she is so pretty and beautiful!
For a boy: Such a strong, smart or naughty boy!
Even though one comes from an educated, globetrotting and financially sound family; the hypocrisy of ‘what it means being a girl” taught by urban Indian parents is frightening.
What does it mean to be a girl? What is the legacy of being a woman? What are the redundant values instilled in her? Is she raised to become a leader? How do you parent your boy? What behavior is okay for a boy?
Just to get a hang of the real picture, check out these figures:
Business Standard reported in 2015, “India's corporate sector sees only four percent women at senior positions compared to the average of 11 percent in Asia.”
“Women have a poor, 11% representation in India's Lok Sabha and 10.6% in the Rajya Sabha, listing India at the 108th position among the 188 countries covered in the annual analysis on statistics of women members of parliament (MPs) conducted by the Inter-Parliamentary Union (IPU).” as reported by Times of India in 2013.
“Women have now served in India’s armed forces for 88 years, but despite their recent prominence, they hold only temporary ten-year jobs, are not allowed on fighting ships, fighter planes and other combat units, and make up only 5% of military officers.” As reported in India Spend in 2015.
I rest my case.
Now do you agree as a society, community, parent and foremost as humans there is a dire need to do things differently here?
What is it that you can do differently? Here are your everyday #hacks.
Check your biases
Every day biases are so ingrained in people’s psyche that it is not even seen as a bias. Daily messages are given to kids telling them that this is what it means to be a “girl or a boy”. What are your actions, words, language, behavior and attitudes?
Make lists of where you and your child have seen such discrimination. And then constructively help them find ways to tackle them. Share stories with them how you overcame it in your own life. Tell your child to call out your sexist behavior.
Why there are conclusions and diktats about what a girl or boy can do? How they act or feel?
Girls are physically strong too. Sports like football and cricket aren’t just meant for boys. Barbie dolls and pink dresses aren’t the best gift ideas for girls anymore. They can become firefighters, army combat officers, athletes or scientists.
Boys/Men can work in the kitchen, mop the floor or become a nurse. Women can be construction engineers and corporate leaders.
Create a gender neutral home
There is a world out there to explore which breaks through such unconscious bias.
Who helps you in the kitchen at your home, your son or daughter? Does your girl get a chance at speaking her mind or do you tell her to be calm, speak softly and be lady like? Is it science/sports /math clubs for your boy and dance/art/singing classes for your daughter?
Are home chores fairly divided between all members of the family and not just done by the women folk? Do women participate in decision-making, financial planning and investment at your home?
You are their primary and foremost role model. Change your own self.
Instill leadership qualities in your girl
Talk to your child and help her deal with getting over anything which stops her from achieving her goals, just because she is a girl. Things that she feels can hold her back because she is a girl. Guide her to discover ways for dealing with anxiety, disapproval, criticism, fear and failure. Expose girls to examples of leadership. Ask your girl to imagine charting new areas of diverse professions.
Challenge and expand perceptions
There is a world out there. Books, games, TV shows, movies and arts which have great examples from diverse cultures and backgrounds that exhibit non-traditional gender roles. Expose yourself and your children to it.
Don’t let boys be boys
What is real honor and strength for a boy or a man? Retell these narratives. False bravado, misogynistic attitudes, hypocrisy and putting down girls/women are not acceptable in any form.
Teach your son, what it means to be a man in true sense. Notions about who is a “bad or good girl”? Sexism even as a joke isn’t funny anymore.
More importantly it is time boys are allowed to freely express themselves without being judged. Showing their vulnerabilities, emotions and being sensitive does not make them less of a man. Boys, who rally and support women make good men, teach them that.
The credits of above images belong to sources:- Pinterest, Instagram, Quotsgram, Redbubble.
-
18 Nov 2016 -
4 Dec 2016
