Are Stress And Workplace Pressures Ruining Your Relationship?

Sheena and Adhiraj met way back in college, and after getting to know each other in and out, they chose to tie the knot. They were the heartthrobs of every party they went to, and usually the centre of attraction, as they made a beautiful couple and were very much in love.

But this was five years ago. The made-for-each-other couple is on its way for a divorce--work pressure started affecting their personal life. The stress and the odd working hours had slowly crept into their lives. On top of that, the pressure of starting a family was just creating too much to handle for them. Rather than talking about their issues, they headed for a divorce.

The rate of divorce in young marriages has drastically increased in India. Some factors which contribute to the divorce are the work pressures, high salaries, drugs, drinks, late night parties, resulting in the loss of equilibrium of these youngsters. Couples who have high aspirations tend to have more stress, and tend to hit the D-word when they are unable to cope. The modern young couples have replaced sex with watching porn. Not only this, video games, smartphones and surfing the net has taken the place of emotional intimacy.

Dr Nisha Khalla, a leading psychologist and marital counsellor in Delhi, says that she counsels at least 4-5 couples every day from the city and NCR (national capital region). “Usually, these couples are highly educated and have high IQs. One partner has a low emotional quotient, and when their emotional needs are not fulfilled, they start distancing themselves from their partners. As a result, many of the young couples may not even indulge in sexual activity with their partners.”

Dr Rekha Mehta, a psychologist based out of Gurgaon, says that on an average, she gets 20-25 cases of young couples every month. Out of these, most couples have high pressure corporate jobs, with odd hours. Such marriages start falling apart in the first few years. Her advice to youngsters: Before getting married, it is very important to check if they bond emotionally, share the same intellectual ideas and are on the same wavelength.

What about counselling? Does it help these young couples? Not really; approximately five percent of the couple who seek counselling see a new ray of hope. This only happens when both partners are determined, and have not caused any trouble in the designated time period before the final divorce.

How can one get it right without knocking the doors of the courts for a divorce? It is best to state one’s expectations before marriage; spend quality time and manage stress in such a way that the couples lead a disciplined life. Communication is the key to a happy life, as it leads to understanding each other well. Last, and quite crucial, trust your partner, as it is an important pillar of marriage. Insecurity, jealousy and mistrust can ruin your relationship.

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