After Koffee With Karan, Watch Dry ‘Paani’ With Pervez Musharraf

On a regular Tuesday morning, I was assigned to watch a video and review it. And who doesn’t like to be paid for watching YouTube videos. Am I right? I thanked God for my pretty good Mangal...and then I was told whose video it was.

I had to watch former Pakistani President General (Retd) Pervez Musharraf’s TV programme – Sab Se Pehle Pakistan with President Musharraf.

The ‘liberal nationalist’ in me suddenly came alive (maybe I was ODing on ABVP). But then, I must admit, the thought of it did excite me. Come on, he’s the same General who rocked the dance floor with a younger woman on the song Dilli Wali Girlfriend.

And we loved it!

With this rangeen perception, I was hoping the show Sab Se Pehle Pakistan with President Musharraf would be on the lines of Karan Johar’s Koffee With Karan. Of course, we were expecting a tamer version, but at least equally explosive (no pun intended). Instead, what we got was a phuddu, dry paani with Pervez Musharraf, just like their cricket team (who btw has never won a World Cup match against India).

The question-and-answer format had Musharraf donning the counsellor’s hat and giving muft ka gyaan to Pakistan on ‘how to deal with problematic children (India), and how to make them listen to you’. The military ruler’s solution to every problem was “tit-for-tat” – “woh do thappad marenge, hum chaar marenge”.

That’s very mature, General! *slow clap*

Unlike Karan Johar, who asks questions to his guests and then waits for some steamy responses, General saab is the one answering all the ‘how to make Pakistan great again’ questions as a dull sarkari karamchari. Even the interviewer has an ‘I don’t give a damn. Just doing my job’ expression on her face.

After riding his country’s tank to Kargil war, this military man is on his way to tank his debut show, and in all probability, he’ll blame India for it. In fact, he should have renamed the show Sabse pehle blame India.

How ironic is it that a man who detests India so much, dances to its tune all the time.

At the end of the torturous 30-minute-video, the anchor wakes up and asks Musharraf what message would he like to give Pakistan.

Wow! The entire show was a lecture given by Prof Musharraf. How much more can a man blame India? Maybe he should save a few points of India bashing for the next episode.

Indiawallon, if Karan is stirring B-town, Musharraf is languishing at the bottom of the coffee mug.