A Working Mom Raises Empowered Kids Who Value Financial Independence
The biggest challenge for any and every working woman is of balancing the dual roles of family and work. Indra Nooyi, head honcho of PepsiCo and an extremely inspiring career woman, had once, very candidly, admitted in an interview when asked if women could have it all: “I don’t think women can have it all. I just don’t think so. We pretend we have it all. We pretend we can have it all…every day you have to make a decision about whether you are going to be a wife or a mother; in fact many times during the day you have to make those decisions. And you have to co-opt a lot of people to help you. We plan our lives meticulously so we can be decent parents. But if you ask our daughters, I’m not sure they will say that I’ve been a good mom.” These are existential challenges that most working women face, in corporate as well as political careers.
The challenge of living in a nuclear family also manages to bring about the self-induced guilt of not being around when the children need you the most--be it their school functions or attending a birthday party or Sports Day. With a role that has no fixed timings such as corporate jobs do, it becomes a little more daunting to balance the two roles.
An entrepreneur, a start-up would know the feeling of the one-for-all and all-for-one role that they have to play at the start of their venture. When everything else is second priority to the one you want to do. On a few stressful days, keeping your self-motivation high to achieve what you have set out to be is also a big test. So it was with me too--state elections, general elections, corporation elections and breaking news became a priority; family had to forego summer/winter holiday breaks as they clashed with work. So it was also left to the husband to fill in when a parent was needed if I was away at work.
So yes, just like anything that one starts with takes some time to shape up, so it is with work too. As one settles into the new role, one starts allotting their time a lot better. Every single minute is planned to the last millisecond. Right from seeking help from family to help with the kids while you cope with the work to coordinating with other parents to help with shared activities are some of the ways I get assistance to reduce the guilt. If the weekends don’t look too busy, we head out of the city for some family time. The holidays with family--while not disregarding work responsibilities--are back again on the agenda; many work related travels are turned into short holidays with the family, and vice-versa too.
However, the important part of being a working woman is the sense of respect that children have for you, their understanding to handle tasks by themselves and at the same time be able to independently take decisions if both parents are unavailable at that point in time for work reasons. Personally, I believe the biggest value-add to family life that a working woman can do, is to have her children realise the importance of being financially independent and to be strong-willed enough to work for it.
Over the years, I have realised the three things that matter the most for women professionals who also strive to give quality time to their family: Readjusting priorities according to individual situations; reinforcing the importance of family bonding and relationships; realigning time to fit the situation, not the other way around. There is no fixed formula, and each new day comes with fresh challenges, and many new joys.
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