Most of us have been taught from childhood to live life preparing for the future. In school we are told to study hard so that we get into a "good" college. In college we prepared for a “good” job and career. For girls often the dictate is also to maintain their looks and behaviour so that they get a “good” husband!!
We all want to do well in life. A lot of actions in our life are taken to predict or prevent things we want or do not want to in our future. The uncertainty of the future is what makes it fascinating, yet often frightening for us.
It is all too well that the future is unknown even if it can be daunting because knowing the future would take the fun out of the journey called life.
We may not be able to always predict the future but we can make mental shifts to take control of it
Step 1: Set clear goals
Imagine that you are 20 years in the future and looking back on your life. what would you want it to look like? What would make you feel that you lived a great life? Goal setting is one of the most definite ways to channelize your energy to achieve what you want in life. Often I have clients tell me what they don’t want to happen in their lives. What i recommend instead is that they tell me what they do want. So take some time to write down what you want in life. Make it as detailed as you can. If you want to be rich what does that mean? Is a crore rupees enough to make you feel rich? Put a number on your wealth. If you want to have a successful career what does that mean? If you want a good life what does that look like and feel like? What do you REALLY want? The surest way to mess up your future is to have unclear generalised goals.
Step 2: Believe you cannot fail
"Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway.” - Mary Kay Ash
Unfortunately most of us are not as lucky as the bumble bee and there will be enough and more people who will gladly tell us why we will not, cannot and should not meet our goals. Believing in yourself and your goals is often the most difficult thing to do. But it Is important to remember is that when someone says that you can’t, it means they can’t or that they have not seen it happen. When someone says you shouldn’t, it is their own beliefs that they are projecting on you. The only one who can decide your future is you, yourself. Work with the mindset that your are meant for success and then pursue it without doubting the end result.
Step 3: Be flexible with the process
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” - Albert Einstein
Be firm on your goals but be flexible on how to get there. If one approach does not work be willing to try new ones. One of the best trainings I got in doing that was when I try to get my toddler son to pick up his toys at the end of the day. Sometimes just asking him works, sometimes a promise of a treat and sometimes just making it seem like another game. As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” Similarly life, career and relationships require us to be flexible with our approach in doing things and keep trying new ways till we find the one that works best for you.
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