In our country, if a single woman is sexually permissive and active, then she is termed as promiscuous, unchaste, immoral and debauched.
Basically she is a bad woman.
Why do women have to go through these nightmares even now? Why are these mindsets prevalent in urban India inspite of the accessibility to education, widespread globalization, exposure to the world, better socio –economic conditions and cosmopolitan lifestyles?
A sexually permissive single woman supposedly brings dishonor to her family. There is immense societal pressure for her to gift her virginity to the husband. She is “slut shamed” for exercising her right, needs and desires. It has been seen in many scenarios; marriages are cancelled and broken off from the guy’s side, if by chance they get to know the girl has had a boyfriend prior to her wedding, other than her current fiancé.
Her whole character certificate is given by people around her, which primarily is based upon her virginity status.
Besides her father, brothers and uncles, a good girl is not suppose to be in touch or contact with any other boys. Forget boyfriend, not even friends. It appears that doing so is total sin.
This is not a phenomenon which is restricted to rural India; this is extensively true for urban, educated, economically well-off and cosmopolitan Indian families.
Remember, a girl is a commodity here and she is offered as a transactional item in marriage. She is meant for procreation and servility. So her rare value is in her sexual chastity.
There are no such rules for the man.
Women still face hypocrisy, double standards as society shames them as “sluts” and ‘whores.” A sexually permissive woman is judged, viewed negatively, ostracized, shamed and shunned by men and tragically even other women.
More notably, it has been seen, a man with an active sex life is all manly, cool and the real “catch.”A man with several sexual partners, he is considered to be a quiet an achiever and this is validation for his manhood.
Sex education is a taboo in our country; parents don’t talk about it to their children. Schools present it in the form of an over simplified and technical one hour biology lesson. Worst case scenarios, in the name of sex education; ghastly stories are told to create fear about sex and intimacy.
It is that one big and giant size “elephant in an Indian family and class room.”
Boys are given the freedom to test, try out and eventually figure out their concupiscence and sexual proclivity. Girls are girdled up with chastity belts and prepped for their marriage, and it is only then they can cross the forbidden boundary and explore their needs or desires.
Source: 9GAG
A sexually permissive woman doesn’t belong to our Indian ethos or culture. That is a myth perpetuated by the Indian moral police in our country. Well, that doesn’t seem to be factually correct.
Just go look at of our religious texts, mythology, history and historical monuments. We have had series of really powerful women, who had discretion over their own life.
The likes of “Radha, Kunti, Khujurao, Kamasutra are our greatest examples.
With such rich legacy and meaningful history, yet there is a distortion in our current notions, ideas and beliefs. Rather than progressing as a society we have chosen to go back into inversely into dark ages.
Modesty and sexuality are linked to being a good wife. A virtuous woman is servile, virginal, and unsullied. She must suppress her sexuality prior to her marriage. And after her marriage she must only acts on her desires to serve her husband.
Ladies, in 2017, shun those bogus ideas for heaven’s sake. And don’t get intimidated by the world around you. Make your own choices.