The relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in India has traditionally been perceived as antagonistic. Family expectations from the bahu have invariably been high and in many cases, impractical. Most daughters-in-law feel that no matter what they do, they fail to make their in-laws happy.
But is it a fair assumption that all mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships fall into this ‘strained’ category? Certainly not, and Bollywood acknowledges this too. Some mainstream Hindi movies have charmed us with unique characters that are in stark contrast to the evil on-screen mother in-law of the 60s, Lalita Pawar.
One such mother-in-law whom I absolutely loved is Himani Shivpuri’s character in the movie, Biwi No. 1. Although the movie itself is patriarchal in theme, the mother-in-law was firmly supportive of her daughter-in-law. Puja’s (Karishma Kapur) husband Prem (Salman Khan) falls in love with another woman, Rupali (Sushmita Sen). The director, David Dhawan had said in an interview that Puja does not win back her husband’s love by crying, rather by making him cry! Puja’s mother-in-law empowers her to achieve her goal in this unconventional plot.
She is a friend to her daughter-in-law
In an endearing scene, Himani Shivpuri asks her daughter-in-law to pay attention to herself. She acknowledges that Puja has been so involved with her household and kids, that she has stopped paying attention to herself. In a culture where sacrifice and self-neglect are considered as highly valued virtues for a wife, this was a breath of fresh air.
She supports her daughter-in-law against her son
Most women who become aware of their sons’ extra marital affairs pretend to ignore the issue or undermine the situation as something that “happens”. Others blame their daughters-in-law for not taking care of their poor, affection deprived sons who have no control over their vices.
However, in this movie, when her son begins to philander, this mother-in-law offers unconditional support to her daughter-in-law.
She acknowledges her son’s mistake
Puja sends her mother-in-law to stay with Rupali and Prem. In a hilarious scene, the mother-in-law lies to Prem that Puja has thrown her out of the house. Prem comments that he had never imagined Puja capable of worsening to such an extent. His mother comments sarcastically pointing to her son,
“Are beta kaun kab kitna gir jaye, pata hi nahi chalta.” (You never know to what extent someone can stoop!)
Yes, we need more characters like her, refreshingly original and leaving a lasting impact.
Written by Tanvi Sinha