A wise man once told me – “You don’t have to be nice all the time”. You can’t make everyone happy. To stay productive, and minimise stress, you have to learn the art of Saying No — an art that many people have trouble with.
Let me share two main points with you:
1. Having no will or inclination to do something is reason enough to say you won’t do it.
We’re not sure where everyone got the idea that saying “no” makes us hard-hearted, unsympathetic or a “bad friend” or “terrible employee”. Most of us are so afraid of feeling like a “bad person” that we believe we have to come up with an elaborate reason to justify saying “no”. Well, let me break it to you: Saying no does not make you a bad person, friend or employee. It is finally your choice and your judgment which you should trust. .
2. If you need to explain your “no” to someone, keep it simple.
We get that you might not want to just say “no” and then run away. In that case, having a couple of responses comes in handy. Two of our favourites are, “Let me check on something and get back to you” (this is great for spur-of-the-moment things that catch you off-guard) and “I’d like to say yes, but I don’t have think I have either the time or the energy to do justice to that decision right now, and I think it deserves to be done right”.
For every “yes” you give you’re saying “no” to something else, and vice versa.
Remember – “NO” is a complete sentence in itself. You’ll be doing yourself (and the person you say no to) a huge favour. So, don’t put yourself down mentally about not being able to say yes to someone every now and then. Trust me; it’ll make you feel liberated.
Whatever you do, don’t over-justify your “no”. The more you discuss it, the less power your response has. And keep in mind; the more gracefully you say “no”, the more you give the people around you permission to do the same. You might just start a revolution.
How do you say “No” to others? Leave a comment below!
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