There is no unique and perfect way of parenting. It is not necessary that points of references for all children will be the same in all families. Each child is a unique individual and raising each of them will be determined by their nature. However, making them conscientious and sensitive to values becomes impertinent in today’s fast world.
The other day, queuing up for bicycles during raahgiri at Connaught Place, New Delhi, a small boy sidled up two places before us. He stood there quietly and smoothly blended in with the queue. A gentleman in the queue suddenly realized and asked him about his guardians. He sheepishly looked towards a couple watching him, standing towards the rear of the queue. The couple looked away embarrassed and tried to condone the act saying he was just a child.
In the above incident, the fact remained that the parents saw nothing wrong in egging and using a child to break the queue. That child would grow up without ever learning to respect other’s time and effort; that it was not okay to break etiquettes if it served one’s own interest.
Very often in our bid to raise street smart children, parents think nothing of sending the wrong messages that would put others at inconvenience. Education is not simply the acquisition of the three R’s. Education is a learning that enables an individual to realize one’s potential as also to live amicably in society so as not to inconvenience others. Education is also teaching children to take responsibility of their actions and make amends where necessary. Recently a video went viral on the internet, about a school in Japan. The children were taught to grow their own vegetables and serve themselves instead of by staff. They were taught not to waste the food and so the excess was always distributed equally among all to finish the cooked food.
It is ironical that we marvel at and appreciate such practices in Japan whereas back home we think nothing of a child throwing tantrums at the dining table and wasting food on the plate. We do not imbibe in the child to serve themselves little at a time, to avoid wastage. There is hardly any parent who would ask their child to be patient and bide their time till the others in the queue have been served. Like charity begins at home so does education.
At Rani Baruah’s home, the household chores are being shared by the children and her, before they all leave for school. This includes, cleaning, sweeping, mopping, washing clothes and cooking. “This teaches them dignity of labour as well as makes them self-reliant” says Rani who teaches in the same school. She continues, “Hopefully by the time they have flown the nest, they will be independent disciplined individuals capable of managing on their own and living in a hygienic environment”. Sharing responsibilities in a social unit like a family, neighbourhood etc helps the child to imbibe the qualities of empathy, cooperation and appreciation of values.
Raising conscientious children is not an easy task. Yet, it is not something that cannot be achieved. When the parents lead the way through example, it takes little for the children to follow. As parents, we need to understand that it is okay for the children to pick their own plates after meals and wash it; to make their own beds; to get their uniform and shoes ready. Little steps will complete the journey but the first step has to be taken by the parent.