I’ve been avoiding writing this blog.
The life of a producer, especially one who dabbles in both film and television, is a super hectic one. There are budgets to be made, crews to be hired, directors to be motivated, channels and studios to be wooed, and of course, actors to be chased.
It’s quite a handful you know.
And when not doing all of that, one has a home to run, a child to raise and social obligations to be fulfilled.
So it’s been hectic, as always, and anything you choose to do for yourself falls to a very low level of priority; but still, the truth is, I’ve been avoiding writing this blog.
I was really excited when SHEROES asked me to write for them, a blog about being a feminist in the real world, someone who juggles a career in movies, marriage (kind of, but more on that later) and motherhood.
So here’s an honest look at how our beliefs and principles stand up in the non-virtual world--where what you say and do has a tangible impact on your life; where the reaction is not always equal to your action, and usually has repercussions beyond 140 characters.
My experiments with surviving real life if you may.
It seemed like a great idea.
With the zeal of an entrepreneur, I set out to gather information--all the topical things I wanted to say, funny things to make me likeable and even pictures that would make my blog look different from anything anyone else had. And then with the confusion of a first timer who doesn’t know where to start, I ended up asking my editor for help.
“Where does one start?”
“At the very beginning,” was her sagely advice, and I, finding it fair enough, sat down to introduce myself.
That was it! I don’t really know how many people can sit and write paeans about themselves; yours truly is certainly not one of them. And yet, if I can’t talk myself up, then why should anyone be investing time in reading what I have to say?
But having been taught really early that “good girls” don’t praise themselves I’ve really had to struggle to overcome the conditioning. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’m really cool. I just have issues saying it.
I’m 44, I co-own my business equally with my younger brother. It’s a production house that produces feature films and television. I work with some of the brightest and most beautiful people in my business.
I own my home, I have a child who is turning 14 this year; in fact people would say that I’m a lucky woman.
And I would agree.
Except that, it’s not simply “good luck” to be where you get in life; it’s hard work.
People don’t stumble upon any measure of success--they earn it. And with us women, it often takes as twice the effort to get half the acknowledgement.
Years ago, when I started working in films, it was unusual for girls from within the film families to work beyond being “costumes designer” or the namesake producer. Heroines whose parents were from the business were a rarity. And here I was, all of 17, and on set as a production manager!
But I was the daughter of a producer and so I was treated ‘respectfully’--like this mega star who wouldn’t look me in the eyes. Instead--this action hero--he wanted to know how we had shot a particular sequence, but every time I gave him an answer, he’d turn to my brother and ask him the next question!
Another hero I was working with (incidentally, he was an action hero too!) very solicitously told me I should go home and come back wearing more appropriate clothes if I wanted the crew to take me seriously (I was wearing capris). And of course, I was told ever so often that I shouldn’t stand in the sun like the rest of the crew or I’d become ‘dark’!
But I did stand in the sun, and I did get the crew to take me seriously; and today, when I’ve produced five feature films and thousands of hours of programing, I look around and things have changed--some for the better, some not so much.
Today there are more women than ever in films. Today, there are not enough women in films.
From the days of playing “shooting-shooting” with my fellow film kids to actually making our dreams come true on screens of all sizes, this is my journey and I’d like to share it with you.
image not our own