My daughter was born in March 2007. The first three months went by in a haze, sleep deprived and fatigued. I remember crying on the day my husband had to join his work back--his paternity leave was just for two weeks. I missed the freedom to go where I wanted, when I wanted. I felt overwhelmed at being at the beck and call of the new baby. Yet, I had support--my in-laws came over to help me tide over the tough times, as did my parents who took their turn right after.
My maternity leave was coming to an end; 90 days would soon be up. I had a choice: To join work back as planned, or extend it by a month or so without pay. My mother-in-law stood by me; she understood how much it would help me mentally and career-wise.
I decided to get back to work, as it would help me get back into my old life which I was missing. On the 91st day after giving birth, I proudly walked back into the office. But within a month or two, I realised that not everyone believed I could do it all. My firm asked me to move on, giving me flimsy, baseless reasons. My boss had stopped giving me any work. Even talking to HR did not help. I realised that my boss believed that a new mother would not be as 'committed' to work as any other employee. I quit. In hindsight, I could have sued them, but what's done is done.
From that day, I have never looked back, never quit. Today, my daughter is nine years old. Her grandparents have other commitments too, they come and go. I do not have a babysitter. What I do have is faith, confidence and planning. I managed initially, by putting her in a play-school with extended hours; then, I choose a school with a creche. It was hard. She often asked me why she had to be in a creche when all her friends went home with their moms. I explained to her that her mother likes to do something special--it is important to me to go to the office and work. She never complained--she doesn’t even today. What she does understand is, a woman who is educated and wants a career has every right to pursue it. Nothing should stand in her way.
As she grew up, things got easier. I found a reliable maid, and now it's just a gap of two-to-three hours between her reaching home from school and my reaching home from work. I have been in companies that have supported me fully; I have had understanding bosses who insisted on giving me flexi-times, and currently work in an office that has a special playroom designed for kids to come and spend time comfortably in. They insist that, be it weekends, or sudden school holidays, or even any day that I feel like it, my daughter is always welcome to make herself at home.
Today, I feel I have set the right example for my daughter. She sees in me her future--a well-educated woman who can run her home, care for her family, and enjoy her career, all with panache. Mums without babysitters, we can do it!
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