Tantrum throwing is one of the most annoying behaviors in children. It is not just troublesome for the parents and family but can become somewhat of a nuisance when your child throws tantrums in public.
Imagine you are in an aircraft, dreaming of the vacation you are about to go on and your child has this dramatic tantrum episode. Having all eyes on you and even some glares can get really embarrassing. And, in any case, as parents, it is our responsibility to make sure that out child is not misbehaved in public or even at home, for that matter.
Identifying a tantrum
Babies and infants cry. It is normal. You cannot expect to have a peaceful time always but you need to know what a genuine cry is and what a tantrum is.
A tantrum is always sparked by something the child wants and you did not give them. This could be a toy, it could be some prohibited food or it could just be an extra hour of playtime. Tantrums are accompanied by other behaviors such as shouting, rolling on the ground and in extreme cases, self-injury by banging the head or fist against the wall or floor.
You may be the cause of tantrums
This is one of the most valuable lessons I learnt from my older sister. I was lucky to get some good advice before I spoilt my child silly.
Remember that tantrum throwing is not an instinctive behavior in a child. It is an acquired behavior that is basically an attempt at seeking attention.
As parents we want to give our child all the happiness in the world. In the process, we fail to teach them how to take no for an answer. This here is the beginning of the tantrum throwing behavior.
When you give in, it almost becomes a sort of power play between you and your child. And, the sad part is that over time your child learns that he or she can control you. When this behavior is continued, it can become very difficult to handle when your child is a teenager, especially.
You may also like to read: Delightful Tips to get kids excited about household chores
How can you control the habit?
Once when my sister saw me exasperatedly give in to my son's tantrums and fulfill his demands, she told me that if your child knows that every time he or she cries or shouts, he or she can have their way with you and you yourself have started a bad pattern of behavior.
When you feel that something is inappropriate for your child, say a toy, you need to tell them that they cannot have it. Of course, there is no need to be harsh or there is no need to scold the child. Simply explain to them why they cannot have it.
You may also like to read: Simple way to keep toddlers away from gadgets
Children know how to beg and make you feel bad. They will ask for the toy a million times till you agree. This is when I learnt that avoiding eye contact entirely is the best way to go. Just do not give your child the attention that he or she is asking for.
When the child loses interest and begins to do something else, give them a positive thing to remember. A simple thank you for being good is enough for a child. I always took it a step ahead and gave my child a choice of either one hour of extra play time or a new book. However, not as a habit, or you will have another issue of bargains to deal with.
Children are a lot more sensitive than we give them credit for. Talking to them calmly and explaining why you are saying no to something makes them realize that you will put the world at their feet but not when it is unnecessary. They develop a sense of security and responsibility with this approach.
Want to share your mommy experience with other moms through words or images? Become a part of the Moms United community.
This post was originally published on Indian Moms Community.