The transition from a working woman to a mother is not easy. What’s even tougher is going from being a mum to a working woman again. Returning to work after the maternity period is always a tough choice, and while some have the comfort to be stay-at-home mothers, many families need the double income, more so with the arrival of a new member.
What’s it really like to go into the world after the maternity leave? Juggling a new baby with home and work commitments: “Three months in the house with only my baby for company during the day and I was more than ready to start working again; but ironically, I spent the whole of my first day back at work crying in the bathroom and calling home every half hour to check if he was ok,” recalls Radha with amusement. She did overcome the initial panic, thanks to a good support system, but still feels the pangs of working-mum-guilt when she cannot be present for all her son’s school meetings and play dates.
Mothers returning to work say the first few weeks are the most difficult, what with interrupted nights and working around the baby’s schedule. Efficiency is not at its best, and they constantly worry about both their baby and the guilt about returning to work, or whether they are now sufficiently capable of handling the demands of their job. Emotionally, it is not the best place for them to be in, though most of them get back into the game after the teething period.
Rachel didn’t have the luxury of staying at home after her daughter was born; luckily, her in-laws lived in the flat next to hers. “They help in every way they can, but sometimes I feel uncomfortable that their lives have come to a standstill because of my daughter. At their age, they should be carefree. Instead, they are burdened with looking after an overactive toddler. It takes a toll on them,” she confesses.
Not all have help from family--some have to rely on maids for help. Savita recalls with horror how her six-month-old son became weak and sickly after she left him with the help to resume work. On the advice of a friend, she installed hidden cameras and caught the horror of her maid changing from Mother Teresa in their presence to Cruella de Ville the minute both parents left the house. Savita complained to the police, got her arrested and had to quit work till they managed to get reliable help. Even now, she worries whether the experience has left any lasting impact on her child.
Many mothers like Rachel and Savita believe that having a well-trained, supervised day care is the need of the day in India, and a better option than leaving their children with ageing parents or ill-equipped maids.
While first-time mothers have a tougher transition, second-timers agree that leaving the child is much easier the next time round. Though they suffer--mildly--from the initial separation anxiety, they are better equipped to handle the situation. Questions about the new baby don’t get them as teary-eyed and guilt-ridden. Routines and schedules are better structured, and they know that most of the worry is from their end while the baby is happy as long as it’s in a secure environment.
Mothers have all had different experiences on their way back to work. While one was embarrassed by her leaking breasts another broke down during her board meeting. Each one has a story to tell; some funny, some difficult, but they all have very memorable and vivid memories, no matter how long it has been.
It is never completely smooth sailing when returning from maternity: they encounter guilt, anxiety, and low productivity for some time, but those who made it successfully were organised, prepared and had a plan, keeping expectations practical and allowing for a settling period helped. Slowly, the routine set in and over time, it got easier to juggle both roles--of mother and working woman.