The innocent smile, the careless laughter, the messy carpet and the broken platters. If this loop seems far too familiar then it’s a sign you are happier than you ever were and that you are struggling with inadequate sleep. Add a corporate job to the mix and you get a complete taste of chaos and fulfilment.
Nobody ever said raising a baby was going to be easy. Nobody ever said that life will be the same after a child too, this was always going to be that bungee jump without a harness. The dilemma if you have been a good mother or not is going to hit you almost everyday and the very fact that it hits you everyday makes you a good mother.
When an inexplainable guilt overpowers you when you leave your crying child at the daycare or if you look at work as a secret vacation from your baby or if you worry your baby loves his nanny more than you, you begin to wonder if being a working mother is stopping you from being a good mother or if being a working mother is really worth the few extra luxuries you can afford because of your contribution to the household income. Or if your career and self-growth is really worth all the milestones you have had to miss of your baby’s’ growing up. The dilemmas sure can get the better of you but the pros and cons need to be weighed in unbiasedly.
Watching working parents build a life together is inspiring for a child and teaches a life lesson to them from a very early age. Gender biases don’t sleep in - daddy goes to office and mommy stays at home - finds no rooting in the young mind. Giving up on a career will be a compromise on who you really are and a gargantuan sacrifice of potential. Having said that, striking a balance is not going to be easy. But an auto pilot schedule and pre decided responses to glitches can surely make the equation work. Other supporting factors can hugely help, for instance looking for a good day care centre even if it means it’s not in your area and is slightly expensive or a nanny with work experience will go a long way. Over and above this, scheduling “alone” time is mandatory. Shutting off from the world and finding time doing something you like every day will give you the much needed reset and reboot.
As you will soon realize it’s not only your baby doing the growing up, it is you too growing from a free spirited person to a responsible mother, you will have to take the transition in your stride without giving up on all the elements that made you who you were before.