Don’t Get Mansplained In 2017 Again!

Yes we are just few weeks away from 2017, and it is high time you stand up for your own self. Enough of that disdainful, patronizing, snarky and mortifying talk down by a man to a woman.

 

Do you know the traits of a mansplaining guy?  Here you go.

 

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According to him you ask for it. Yes, every time it is you who asks for it.  Because secretly he thinks you are dumb, stupid, weak, not intelligent enough, incapable, not as good as him and that you need to be dominated.

 

All this is apparently true just because you are a “woman”.

 

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From childhood, girls raised in patriarchal families are mansplained.

 

Constantly told off by the father, uncles, brothers and all other possible male relatives; they do not leave a chance at making a dig at her.

 

These men berate women, as they think being a girl makes you dull, irrelevant and deficient.

 

Definitely give such elders the benefit of doubt, once or twice is kind enough. However if they are consistent, then explain to them it is not fine, welcome or reasonable.

 

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Then the over possessive, controlling and dominating alpha male boyfriend takes over in the name of love and keeps pulling the strings.

 

He heckles and badgers. His favorite way to control and keep you under his submission is by talking down to you all the time.

 

Totally telling you, how you should think, behave and act.

 

You can’t shrink back from such a boyfriend. Spell it out, that this is deal breaker. Have a dialogue with him. Nevertheless, if he refuses to get the hint, well then reconsider your own choices.

 

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Even if you get rid of that stifling boyfriend and you end up marrying that good, eligible, family guy.  However to your horror, after the whole initial honeymoon phase, he takes control and full charge of you.

 

And like most Indian women, respect, love and companionship means surrendering yourself to the man. So, you give in.

 

Well than the husband mansplains with all his right, might and fervor.

 

When your man does this, try to get behind the root cause of his behavior and help him work it out. This is only plausible, if he is willing to work upon himself.

 

 

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Then there are always those male colleagues, who continue to repeat and explain everything you say.

 

Literally steals every thought of yours and makes it their own.  They patronize, condescend and declare their verdict on everything you have to say.

 

Some people can’t change. They refuse to evolve. That is the juncture you decide to move on and not indulge them. Spell it out and move on.

 

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Time you find your own voice, identity and space. Moment you come into your own such attitudes will cease to be part of your life.   

 

Piyali Dasgupta
A writer and an educator with expertise in experiential learning,capacity building, counselling & content development. A feminist, wit addict and time/life traveler. She loves trees, water bodies, vintage,cooking and arts

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