Reminiscing the time when we were just a bunch of scrawny teenaged girls, clueless about our ambitions, aspirations and life in general. In one of those care-free chats, us girls enthusiastically listed things we wanted to possess after we would start earning. Some said they would own the best of the branded clothes, shoes, makeup, jewellery- of course, the diamond- also some were pretty clear that they would get their basic comforts right. I wanted to/still want to own a house! To which, my peers reacted by asking “Why do you need to think of buying a house, it would be your husband’s lookout!”
I didn’t know how to react to that, still have no clue!
7 years down the line, and we still have a persisting problem where women are expected to be coy and not forthcoming when it comes to their aspirations.
In a recent conversation on the SHEROESplatform, the community ladies deliberated that more women are earning higher than their male counterparts. And, how this is causing rift between the opposing genders.
Well, you see that’s the problem here, we are not at loggerheads with each other. I think of women and men like apples and oranges. Both are fruits, healthy, but different from each other.
Financial variation among couples is normally considered to be the death nail in a relationship. Not taking away its impact but, let us try understanding what the hoopla all about is.
What happens when women earn more than men?
Congratulations! You’ve got more money now. So, you can think of charting your expenses, savings and splurges accordingly. Of course, there has to be clear understanding where to draw the line when it comes to pooling in money. But more money is better than a hand-to-mouth situation, so why not use it to your advantage. Make it work and it will work.
Have no-holds-barred conversations
Free flow of views and counterviews enriches relationships, both professional and personal. Canadian PM, Justin Trudeau was questioned, after forming the most gender-balanced cabinet in the country’s history. He replied, “It is 2015.” We have left that year behind and it’s 2016 and, we’re still grappling with expressing our views and inhibitions loud and clear. I have realised that being straightforward works wonders. You tend to be honest about yourself.
Don’t be guilty of your success
The thought of earning more than my partner definitely, makes me grin, but not in the sense where I look down upon him. It’s a happy moment for me and, I will enjoy my success, of course, not revel in it. I would like to think that moving on to conquer new heights will give purpose to my success. That is how I keep my feet firmly on ground.
Sacrifice your dreams now & regret it later
How many times I have come across women who keep using the word “if” at the start of their sentences. “If I had agreed to that job offer, I could have been in so & so position now,” “If I had completed my studies, I could have done something for myself,” and many other such unfulfilled dreams.
I feel, in order to make others happy you have to feel happy from within. Giving up on your dreams and aspirations, not matter how small or insignificant to others, is demotivating. Nobody likes an embittered person. Not even the ones, for whom you’ve made the supreme sacrifice. I am no relationship expert, but appeasing your partner seldom works for the long term.
Stand your ground
Easier said than done, I understand! Situations may arise where you might be asked to choose between family and career. It is wise to stand your ground, rather give in to the pressures and tantrums. As pointed out, you can keep your family happy, given you’re happy too!
We have come a long way and there is still a lot more left to overcome. There are no set, tried & tested formulas to face such tricky situations in life. But approaching with an open mind and a firm resolve to pick the thorn in the flesh, you have to consider your feelings along with the others.
SHEROES
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