How many times have you been asked by your mum to be careful. To keep an eye out for mishaps. Let us bring this out in open, we are a scaredy bunch of people. Our basic nature as human beings is to survive, not thrive. Then again there are different rules for men and women. The words brave and courageous are used as adjectives to describe masculine qualities. Just as gentle and beautiful are used to describe feminine qualities.
Now, here lies the problem. We have been conditioned from the very beginning, our childhood to be specific, to acquaint our with children gender roles. The conditioning starts with the simple segregation of games.
Dolls and tea set for girls and hardcore outdoor games for boys. You can absolutely agree to disagree with this. Also, it is true that times have changed but we still gift our daughters Barbie dolls and, our sons video games.
What is the harm in it, you ask? Well nothing much, just that you are drilling it in your daughter’s psyche that she is capable enough to comb, braid and dress her Barbie, but outdoor games are not exactly her cup of tea. Her brother will do a better job at it. Because duh, boys are “born tough.” right?
You know who else are you harming in the process? Your sons. They think sitting back at home and helping their mothers makes them less of a boy. My brother was never interested in playing cricket with the neighbourhood boys. He was simply interested in spending his free time with mother, experimenting in the kitchen and cooking finger-licking dishes. No he is not gay. A happily married man who just prefers certain things. Not cricket or video games, simply cooking, gives him that high.
So what does this mean? What I could understand is we are conditioned to behave a certain manner. Else bravery is not a “man quality.” It’s just a quality, which can be found both in men and women.
Being concerned about your daughter’s safety is very much needed and appreciated but making them timid in the process, is worse. The idea is to prepare them for the worst case scenarios, and not scare them to the point of breaking their confidence. This then poses huge problems for them in their future endeavours.
Writer-journalist, Caroline Paul, gave a TedTalk tited, ‘To raise brave girls, encourage adventure.’ Paul was one of the first women to work for the San Francisco Fire Department -- a job that inspired her first work of nonfiction, Fighting Fire. Her latest book, The Gutsy Girl, uses stories from her own life as a gutsy woman to inspire girls to break the rules, take risks and accept seemingly insurmountable challenges.
She has an interesting take on why girls should be taught to play with fire from their childhood. There is nothing wrong in admitting fear or being fearful. Just don’t let that fear overtake your senses and better understanding. Caroline’s inspiring words are what every parent needs to understand and implement to raise brave girls and not hold them back from being one.