The most disturbing line that I have heard since my childhood, from everyone including my family is, “Betiyan paraya dhan hoti hai.”
In just one sentence we have catapulted a girl’s identity to that of a mere wealth. That too someone else’s. Parents are simply her custodians. I have a problem with this statement. Baby girls are taught to groom themselves for the big day in their lives. The day they get married. Because, that is what we ultimately aim for. All the education, grooming, and training is in preparation, to put our best foot forward for the role of a wife/daughter-in-law that we are destined to fulfill.
“Chahe kitni bhi padhi likhi ho jao, khaana banana aur ghar sambhalna toh har aurat ko aana chahiye.”
Another piece of advice I keep getting is to stick to my gender role. Cook, clean, make sure everyone’s fed, pampered and taken care of. That’s my primary job. No matter how successful or demanding my work is, I have to fulfill my responsibilities as a dutiful woman. That’s my natural role.
“Ladkiyon ko toh ekdin jaana hi hai.”
This is an old adage. But can one really understand the impact of this line? Marriage is a socially recognized union between two individuals. But do you know, that this practice has its roots deeply trenched in patriarchy. It seems like all the Feminazis of the world have descended upon patriarchy to bring disrepute to it. But fact of the matter being, post marriage you don’t see men leaving behind their lives, this is expected of women. It is said to be normal, a tradition which has been happening since ages and there’s no point in questioning it.
These lines have profound impact on a growing up girl’s psyche and how she looks at herself. And, there’s nothing more criminal in nature, than to make a girl believe that her last refuge is in kitchen.
Trust Aamir Khan to surprise you with a different thought every time he takes up a new project. This time Mr. perfectionist, has won hearts by featuring in an ad which celebrates the worth of ‘daughters.’
Not just degraded counterparts of their brothers, or a liability which has to be ridden off by pouring copious amounts of money in their marriages.
‘Gurdeep Singh & Daughters’ carries a powerful message. Token appreciation and acknowledgement should give way to more substantial adoption of gender equality.
Normally women have been given the autonomy of kitchen, but the reigns of finances have always been in the hands of the patriarch of the family. Women do have a say in the expenses, but then that is restricted to the groceries, kitchen and house decor. So money management takes precedence in their lives, as they have to make do with whatever budget that has been handed over to them. I would say that definitely develops a sense of finance management.
General perception is to handover a family business to the next generation of men, i.e. the sons, to carry it forward. As they are the ones who stay back and therefore amount to assets. This is problematic on many levels. The degradation of women as untrustworthy, which actually in turn mounts pressure on the men/sons to stick to the expectations. This is just wrong and simply put regressive.
Women don’t have natural inclination to business, but just as men, if given opportunities, there is a probability we can groom a future entrepreneur.
Pinning up hopes on men is equally unfair on them. Sons or daughters, either have the potential to be super successful. All they need is that environment to grow. They would touch the sky--girls and boys--just the way Aamir says, “Shooo te shaaa!”